


No-el

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Decorations, Gen, Hanukkah, Holidays, Jewish Character, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28000905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: Sonny wants to spread the Christmas cheer, but Rafael gently reminds him that not everybody celebrates Christmas.aka 2k words of the author venting in prose.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 55





	No-el

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a tiny bit of wish fulfillment. That being said, it's important to know these are *my* feelings. We are not a hive mind, and everyone has different feelings on being Jewish in a Christian society.

“Good morning, Carmen! Happy December!”

“Good morning detectives,” Carmen says, barely glancing up from her rapid typing. “Mr. Barba will be with you in just a minute.”

The detectives nod, stepping back from her desk to wait.

“I kind of expected Barba would be a bit grinchy, but this is just depressing.” Sonny says.

“Hmm?” Rollins looks at him, and he waves a hand in the air.

“No decorations! No lights, no wreath, not even a bit of tinsel or a, a, poinsettia!”

She looks around the outer office and sees that he’s right. As opposed to the front lobby of the building, with its enormous tree and faux-snow on the windows, Barba’s vestibule is void of holiday décor.

“Well, it’s only just December 2nd,” she points out. “Maybe he hasn’t gotten around to it yet.”

Except that another week goes by and the outer office remains empty of even the smallest sprig of holly.

Barba’s own inner office has a small tabletop tree next to the couch, covered in what look like handmade ornaments, gifts from the children of friends or cousins maybe. Whatever their origin, it means he is not averse to Christmas decorations on the whole, which only amplifies the mystery for Sonny.

At first he thinks maybe it’s the religious angle, because he knows Rafael has no time for the Church and he can understand then why a man might not want a nativity scene or Advent wreath on display. But everyone loves Santa, right? And what’s religious about a few jaunty candy cane window decals?

Rollins isn’t nearly as invested as he is in the issue, but he waves her off when they’re decorating the squad room.

“Look, we got all this leftover stuff,” he says, holding up a box of baubles and decorations. “I’m going to run it over to One Hogan and see if I can’t convince him to spruce things up a bit.”

She looks at her watch. “Carisi, it’s after 6pm.”

“Yeah, so? You know he’ll be there.”

She arches an eyebrow. “I’m not saying he won’t, I’m just saying, don’t arrive without food if you don’t want him to boot you out.”

He grins and throws her a lazy salute. He stops by a sandwich shop on his way over and grabs a few options, not knowing the ADA well enough yet to know what he likes.

When he gets to Barba’s office, the outer room is empty and the door to his inner office is closed, but there’s light peeking through the blinds and he can hear the faint crooning tones of Nat King Cole. King is singing about decking the halls, which Sonny decides is a clear positive sign for his plan.

He sets the box down and pulls out a tinsel garland, looking around to see where it would best fit.

“What are you doing?”

Barba is leaning against the doorframe between the two offices, his jacket off and his tie loose around his neck. His suspenders are down at his side, and it’s more casual than Sonny is used to seeing him. He blushes at being caught so soon, but he holds up the tinsel.

“I couldn’t keep walking in here and seeing the lack of Christmas cheer,” he explains. “We had some stuff leftover at the precinct, so I brought if over. I also brought sandwiches,” he adds, pointing at the bag from the deli.

Barba pushes away from the door and yanks the tinsel from Sonny’s hands. He shoves it back in the box, which he picks up.

“My office, Carisi,” he calls, his voice terse. “And don’t forget the sandwiches.”

Sonny follows him, feeling like he’s being called into the principal’s office and wondering if he’s going to need to get the lieu to intervene like his mother used to when he got in trouble at school.

He sets the deli bag on the table and perches on the edge of a chair, clasping his hands together, hoping to look as contrite as possible.

Barba pokes through the wrapped sandwiches and pulls out a roast beef sub. That’s the one Sonny had been planning to eat, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Do you make a habit of sneaking into people’s offices to decorate for them?” Barba asks idly as he unwraps the sub.

“No, of course not!” Sonny says indignantly. “And I wasn’t sneaking. I knew you’d probably be here. Hence, y’know, sandwiches.”

“Hmm.” Barba takes a bite of his roast beef.

Sonny picks at a grilled chicken pesto wrap. “I’m sorry if I was overstepping,” he offers. “I should have checked with you.”

Barba wipes his mouth on a napkin, folding it neatly. Sonny watches his hands, his manicured fingers with the ink stain and callus where he has repeatedly pressed a pen so deeply that it’s left a divot in his skin.

“It was overstepping,” he agrees. “Carisi, I know I have a reputation among your coworkers for being a pain in the ass, but if you have a question I’d much rather you just ask it and not take it upon yourself to fix a problem that doesn’t exist.”

He looks straight at Carisi. “Did you know Carmen is Jewish?” He asks.

Sonny blinks. “No,” he says. “But she’s...” he trails off at the glare Barba is levelling at him. “Not that that matters,” he hastens to add, “I know you can be both!”

Barba waves at the box of decorations. “All of this, the trappings of Christmas. It doesn’t mean very much to me, and it doesn’t mean anything positive for her.”

Sonny’s chicken turns to ash in his mouth, almost afraid to ask. “What do you mean?”

Barba sighs. “You went to a Catholic school, yes?”

Sonny nods.

“Where everyone looked like you? Went to the same church, ate the same food?”

He nods again.

“It wasn’t quite that homogenous for me, but I did grow up in a mostly Cuban neighbourhood, and I knew just about every other apartment in the building was going to be eating the same food on _Nochebuena_. It’s not like that for Carmen, especially at this time of year.”

He leans back in his chair and his feet kick out in front of him, nudging Sonny’s feet.

“December in New York – anywhere in North America, just about – is an obstacle course if you’re trying to avoid the constant reminder of your otherness. If I can provide Carmen with one small respite from the red and the green and the jingle bells and candy canes, then as her boss and her friend, that’s what I’m going to do. So I don’t decorate her workspace, and for the hours that she’s here, I don’t demand she participate in a season that she doesn’t want or claim.”

Sonny is quiet as he thinks about what Barba’s saying. For him, Christmas, the entire season, it’s all intricately tied up together. December means Christmas and that means tinsel and bows and carols on the radio. He can’t imagine not loving it.

He tries to imagine how that must look for someone who doesn’t get excited to wake up every morning and punch out the piece of cardboard on their chocolate advent calendar. Who steps outside their apartment and is immediately bombarded with music and lights and advertisements that count down the shopping days, all for a holiday they didn’t ask to participate in.

Even in his imagination, it seems exhausting.

He can see by Barba’s expression that his own face now shows understanding.

“Can you, um.” He winces. “Can you not tell Carmen about this?”

Barba drags the deli bag closer to himself and fishes out the packet of salt & vinegar chips Sonny had planned to eat with his roast beef sandwich.

“About what?” He asks, eyebrows up. “As far as I know, Detective Carisi stopped by to bring me dinner and discuss his plans for the holidays. The box of Christmas decorations that he’ll be taking with him when he leaves was never here.”

Sonny grins, tapping his nose, and returns to his wrap.

When he’s on the subway headed home, he notices a Hasidic couple at the other end of the car. They’re seated side by side, talking quietly in their own little bubble, and an idea comes to him.

He walks towards them, stopping a few feet away so they don’t think he’s about to get in their faces.

“Excuse me?” He asks politely. They stare at him.

“Yes?” The man asks warily.

“Can you um. Can you tell me when Hanukkah is this year?”

The man’s face transforms. “Are you Jewish?” He asks eagerly.

“No, no.” Sonny says. “It’s um, a coworker of mine, kind of? I wanted to maybe get her something she could put on her desk.”

The woman giggles, but the man’s smile grows.

“You’re lucky you asked,” he says. “Tomorrow is the last night.”

There’s still over a week til Christmas, and Sonny blinks. He’d always thought they overlapped.

The train pulls into his stop and he thanks the couple before rushing out and up the stairs. If he hurries, he should be able to make it in and out of the Target over on 10th before they close.

The next day, he doesn’t have time to stop at the DA’s before work, so he volunteers to be courier when the lieu asks for someone to rush some files over to Barba around midday.

“Thanks, Carisi,” she looks surprised at his eagerness. “Go ahead and take your lunch at the same time.”

He stops at the deli again, this time getting two roast beef subs. When he gets to the office, Carmen is nowhere to be seen, but the door to the inner office is open. He knocks on it and pokes his head in.

Barba looks up. “Oh, good, you have my files.”

Sonny holds them up, and then lifts his other hand. “And lunch, if you want it. Is uh, is Carmen going to be back soon?”

“She just stepped out a few minutes ago for her lunch,” Barba says as he comes over to join Sonny at the table. “Why?”

Sonny reveals another bag, with the familiar red and white circular logo on it. “I got her some stuff for her desk. I wanted you to look at it first, though.”

Barba tilts his head consideringly as he rummages through the bag. He has an approving smile on his face when he looks back up at Sonny.

“I think she’ll like these. Come on, I’ll help you put them up now and then we can eat.”

It becomes apparent fairly quickly that Barba doesn’t actually know where Carmen keeps anything, but they eventually manage to find thumbtacks and tape, and before long they have a banner of sparkly blue cardboard stars draped across the front of Carmen’s desk, and a small fluffy moose with candles for antlers sits next to a framed photo of her with her family.

“You just really love spreading holiday cheer, don’t you Carisi?” Barba says when they’re seated with their lunches.

He shrugs uncomfortably. “I mean, I get it now, how the whole...” he waves his hand vaguely, “can be a problem, but yeah. It’s just, we live in a wet, dreary, grey city at this time of year, and it’s nice to brighten things up a bit. I used to love when all the lights would go up in my neighbourhood as a kid, and not just because it meant Christmas was coming, but because it was something to cut the darkness. It’s a lot harder to be afraid of walking home alone in the dark when there are giant lit-up angels on every other lawn.”

“We always had a wreath on the door,” Barba says. “My father didn’t like anything gaudy, but he was always very proud of getting the biggest wreath he could find. I keep meaning to stop by one of the markets after work and look for one for my own place but I haven’t yet.”

“Oh, you gotta go to the one up by Columbus Circle,” Sonny says, “there’s a lady there that has a DIY booth and you can make one while she supervises.” He pauses, chewing on his lip. “I could go with you after work tonight, if you wanted. The only rule is, if we’re out somewhere and it’s not for work, you gotta call me Sonny.”

Barba considers him, and then nods slowly. “That would be nice...Sonny.”

Sonny smiles bashfully, enjoying the way his name sounds coming from Barba’s lips.

“I should get back to the precinct,” he says, balling up his napkin. “I’m done at four, so I can meet you back here or we can meet at the park?”

“The park is fine,” Barba says. “I’ll text you if for some reason I’m unable to spot you. Or I’ll just say something wrong about torts and wait for you to show up and correct me.”

He grins at Sonny’s pout.

Sonny passes Carmen on his way out of the building and holds the door open for her. He gives her a wink as she walks through.

“Happy Hanukkah, Carmen.” He greets her.

She looks up at him in surprise but smiles widely. “Thank you detective, and Merry Christmas to you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, until Dick Wolf slides into my DMs to tell me otherwise himself, Carmen is Jewish and that's that on that.


End file.
